The One Habit That Helped Me Get Back My Self-Esteem
24, Adult, Dependent
Last year, I graduated. I have always seen that graduates celebrate their convocation. But I didn’t.
Getting a degree added no smile to my face. It’s not that this was my 108th degree, but I was not happy with my master’s.
Was something wrong with me?
Our batch graduated in 2020. No campus placement happened that year. It’s not that the pandemic was the reason. But, our degree had no value without experience. And to get a site experience, one needs site experience. No companies entertained fresher civil engineering graduates.
I was already 24 when I graduated. It is demotivating to remain a dependent adult. And my guilt was at its peak and was cumulative.
I am fortunate that I’ve got supporting parents. They are ready to pamper me as long as they can. But, I always have had a feeling of dependence. I always had a belief that one should become financially independent as soon as one crosses 18, or at the most 21. I don’t like to be a burden for my parents. So, I always thought to become financially free as soon as I can. But things turned out to be not so well.
I reached 24 and was still a dependent adult. This guilt was so extreme that I ended up living frugally. I barely spend on anything. The thought of being an incapable adult worried me. I went broke and lost my esteem.
Meanwhile came the pandemic. It increased my insecurities. With a master’s degree and no job in hand, I was passing each day with heaviness.
Losing self-esteem has its own consequences — I lost my confidence. I lost hope in the degree. I was directionless and perplexed.
Added to my cues was hopelessness from the future. I knew that the pandemic was to stay here for a long time. Whatever strategies and plans that I made with my degree were on the verge of sinking.
Not Getting What You Want Is a Wonderful Stroke Of Luck
Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. — Napoleon Hill